Please help me run the game, I have the dumb

This is a somewhat-detailed guide on how to install and run Trap Quest!

If you have no idea what that is and a friend just recommended it to you and/or you're underage, they are a bad friend and you should turn away.

Moving on to the actual guide:

Step 1. Be over 18 (legal minimum).
Note: 21 is the recommended age.

Step 2. Look for a version of the game.
Note: The latest should do the trick. Go to the main page ( http://trapquest.com/) and look at the latest dev blog posts, most of them are new versions.

Step 3. Choose your version
One of the three drawn versions or the porn version.
The drawn ones use drawn and 3d modeled (explicit images) and the other contains porn (photographic) images. Mostly. You can see a summary of the different verisons here.
Note: Click on the version you want.

Step 4. Download it through your browser.
Note: Because we all know you can't be bothered to download MEGASync.

Step 5. Wait.

Step 6. That's all you need to know about downloading Trap Quest!
Note: You're not done yet.

Step 7. Now, stuff gets messy.
To play a work like this one, you need an interpreter program: many are available:

On Computers:

For Windows, use Git. ( http://www.ifarchive.org/if-archive/programming/glulx/interpreters/git/wingit-135.zip )
Note: If you input that link, into your browser, it will instantly download the interpreter for you.
Post-Note: If you don't have a way to open the .zip file, you should really evaluate your life decisions.
Download either 7zip ( http://www.7-zip.org/download.html ) or Winrar.( http://www.rarlab.com/download.htm )
Recommendation: 7zip. It's free.

For Mac OS X, use WINE ( https://www.winehq.org/ )
Note: There's a download button in your face now. Click it. Choose the stable release. Otherwise, use the latest release if you feel lucky.
Now follow the Windows instructions and run Windows Git.

For Linux, follow the WINE instructions above if at all possible. If not, you can try to use Gargoyle, but there have been reports that Gargoyle struggles to handle the size of the game and can spontaneously crash.

Here are some instructions specifically for Fedora:
dnf install SDL_mixer
dnf install SDL_sound
wget http://ftp.gwdg.de/pub/opensuse/repositories/home:/zhonghuaren/Fedora_25/x86_64/gargoyle-2015-5.2.x86_64.rpm
rpm -i gargoyle-2015-5.2.x86_64.rpm

For Debian-based Linux distributions, like Ubuntu, the instructions are simpler:
sudo apt install gargoyle-free

Post-Note: Zoom might work with Unix. For Linux, gargoyle-free works well.

Step 8.

a) If you downloaded the zip file, extract it.

b) Run the interpreter (e.g., git.exe or gargoyle-free)

c) Find your TQ file (it's a file ending in .gblorb) and open it with the interpreter program (git, or gargoyle, or whatever you chose).
Tip: Just move the (darn/porn) Trapquest game files to the folder where git.exe is located.

d) Enjoy playing.

On Android:

The game can be run on not-too-old versions of android but you may have a bad time because of the small size of the screen, so possibly turning off the graphical windows is recommended. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.luxlunae.fabularium

On iOS:

Step 1.

Consider switching to Android if you want to have more control over what you can do with your phone!

Playing the game:

The game asks a few questions and presents some initial menus where you choose different options. If it's your first time playing, try the tutorial that's offered. The actual game has been reworked to make it easier to play with point and click and less typing of text commands like, "submit", or "kick gladiator" or "wipe face with pink bikini".